12 a.m. Ramblings – Endurance


12 a.m. on a chilly Chicago night. The only lights that are on are the Christmas lights at a distance and my laptop screen. I love the silence that brings forth contemplative nights like these. It’s been one of those days where I’ve experienced both emotions that make me laugh and cry, be serious, be talkative, be contemplative, be still. I can’t remember when it was the last time that I had a day like this — because it’s usually either one way or another. Meaning, days where I just feel like staying still and days where I just go, go, go.

This is definitely just a diary entry — blame the computer being the first thing available.

I’ve been thinking a lot about endurance. How can we learn endurance if it not by situations that keep us on the path of uncertainty for a longer-than-desired time? How can patience be born in us if it weren’t for undesirable circumstances? How can anything close to resembling a strength be developed it if were not for things that take a toll on us –exhausting, requiring, demanding, obstructing?

How can we have faith if we always see, when faith is the evidence for things unseen?

Suffering, like joy, is a gift.

It’s a gift that gives more than it takes, if allowed.

Aren’t not suffering, loneliness and difficult circumstances the very things that can make us more like Christ?

Hebrews 5:8 says that “even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.”

Why do we expect less than that — or should I say, more than that?

Let us receive with acceptance all these hard things, for they are producing in us a fruit that lasts.

God is at work. He is operating in us. And just like any surgery, there is pain involved. Right now we see the flesh and bones and blood and it’s easy to get overwhelmed and scared and tired. It’s easy to glue our eyes on the surgery and not on the doctor. You see, if our eyes are set on the doctor, He can reaffirm us that He is in control. He has done this before. We are in good hands. The surgery will be worth it. But it hurts when we are getting poked and twisted and turned and dealt with.

Just know, there will be a time of rest, healing and – ultimately – a better strength than the one we started with.

God will restore what has been broken and will make a way when there seems to be no way.

Hang on with me.

It’s going to be ok.

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About Nathalia

I'm Nathalia, a 20-something living in Chicago, centered around Jesus, inspired by words and moved by others.

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